Well it has been another month and it appears the website is going to move 3-5 days. We get our rumors from a website called China Adopt Talk and the gal who hosts the site is known as the Rumor Queen aka RQ. The RQ is reporting that the cut-off might be February 20th. That would mean a 5 day move putting us back another month to referral in April 2010. That's sad that it's still such a small batch. It makes me sad when it slows down as the wait seems endless and so unfair. When there has been so much loss and time that passes so slowly and so much more time to wait before we see the face of our precious daughter. It's sad because loss is at the heart of adoption and it is a feeling that creeps up in the slow times and especially as the holidays approach and you just want to have your family completed. There is a triad of adoption loss we all feel~ birthparents, adoptive parents, and especially the child ~ will have to lose so much. I feel it everyday and move through it everyday. Some days are a piece of cake and then there are those days.......For Jailyn one day her loss will come and it brings tears to my eyes, this will mean she will have been abandoned and experience tremendous grief and have lost the opportunity to be raised in her country of birth by her birth parents. It means for her that she will grow up in a multi-cultural family and raised as a chinese american citizen. Her birthmother will have lost, whether by choice or not, the chance to raise the child she carried in her womb for nine months. Mike and I have had tremendous loss in the ability to carry and birth our biological child. This adoption process has not been easy emotionally to process the continual grief and then to wait so much longer than we ever dreamed but I believe we are all a piece of a puzzle and the pieces all fit together in the right time and we are not there yet but what a blessing it will be when the time comes. I get so filled with emotion thinking about our gotcha day. Our Adoption is about love. First and foremost, the love and the ability of a birthmother to love a child so much that she is willing to create an adoption plan for the child she carried for 9 months. A child who was hopefully created in an act of love and passion. I cannot begin to fathom the depths of that love, a love which will transcend time, and distance, a love that can leave a birth family wondering for a lifetime about a child they will not be able to raise. The love that Mike and I will be able to feel, the love of two families, one known and one only dreamed of. I figure that if we do our jobs as adoptive parents, Jailyn will grow to love and respect her birth family for the opportunity that they gave her. The love of the adoptive mother and father is priceless and what I know Mike and I are called to be to give Jailyn the love, support and wings to become all God intends for her !
Not to get to deep but I read another blog with similar thoughts and it was exactly what I have been thinking so I thought I would post this in my words and shared feelings of another as we are still waiting this month.
It all reminds me of the RED THREAD Chinese Legend Adoptive families live by as they wait for their daughters.
"An invisible thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch, tangle but will never break."
This time honored chinese legend underscores the belief that when a child is born an invisible thread connects that child's soul to all those people-present and in the future who will play a part in that child's life. As time passes those threads shorten and tighten, bringing closer those people who are fated to be together.
So we are truly a red thread family in waiting for the website to move this month!
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